Again-with-this-shit-ies #158

No time for studies today. Only the comic:

Oh look, they are saying shit! And they have faces to say shit with! 

Let me know if you find any grammar, or spelling errors. Also some general opinions on the dialogue would be nice. I am still not sure about some of it.


  1. That's possibly the sexiest trap drawing I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, the lady is gorgeous but he is something else.

    Some proof reading as I'm so excited by the comic: "Alredy" is missing an a, and "untill" has too many lls.

    Other than that, very fun stuff! I hope she punishes him for acting up!

  2. In panel 6, bottom left corner, the woman's glasses are missing from her face. Other than that and the things said by the guy above, it's fine.

  3. that has to be the funniest thing ive read. thats awesome keep it funny

  4. Damn, this looks hot. Can't wait to see where this comic will go.

    -"Come ooooon!!!" (panel 1) - Three exclamation marks are a tad excessive and make it seem like he's screaming rather than just being a whining, spoiled and horny boy.
    -"Take your dick out of my face boy..." (panel 2) - Missing a ',' between 'face' and 'boy'. Also, the ellipses seem out of place here given that she's kinda annoyed.
    -"alredy" (panel 2)
    -"I will ignore you now." (panel 3) - Sounds a bit weird and overly formal to me. I'd change this to "I'm going to ignore you now.", but that's just me.
    -"We both know you can't do that" (panel 3) - Missing have a '.' at the end of the sentence.
    -"Come on suck my dick. (panel 3) - Missing a ',' after "Come on".
    -"untill" (panel 3)
    -"I swear, sometimes you act like a 10 year old" (panel 7) - Missing a '.' at the end of the sentence. Also, '10 year old' should be hyphenated (10-year-old).

    Speech bubbles:
    Some of your speech-bubbles are a tad unclear as to who they belong to, so you may want to add 'tails' to them. The ones I noticed this with the most are:
    -The big one belonging to the woman in panel 3.
    -The one in panel 5 just below Sam's face.
    -All three bubbles that go with panel 6 belong to Sam, so they should at least be connected even though he's off-panel.
    -"Fine, let's get this over with." in panel 7 belongs to the woman, but its tail points to Sam.
    -The others in panel 7 could use clarifications as well.

    A good guideline for speech bubbles is to be consistent in how you handle them whenever possible, so long as they don't interfere with the artwork.

    General dialogue comments:
    We don't know the name of the woman yet, and it's generally a good thing to establish your characters early on. Maybe you could have Sam say it right at the beginning, like "Come ooooon, *INSERT NAME HERE*!" or something.

    Like I pointed out earlier, the woman seems a bit formal at some points, especially since she uses "I am" instead of the contracted "I'm". It's fine if you did this on purpose, though.

    The final sentence this panel "What you just said..." sounds a bit off, but that might be because it's continued on the next panel.

    Sorry for being nitpicky, but you did ask. I'm an editor, so it's my job to point out this stuff. :-P

    1. Thanks for yout input! I really appreciate (and need) it. And I don't think you were being nitpicky. I think pretty much everything you wrote was solid advice. It really helped me out. Especially the part about grammar, spelling and punctuation.

      The speech bubbles were just quickly put together to see how the page flows with them, so I wansn't payting that much attention to their 'logic', but what you wrote was still helpfull. I am gonna try to keep that in mind.

      It was my goal to make the woman seem overly formal, so looks like I succeded there.

      The final sentence of the page is supposed to be the woman subtly mocking Sam's stupid joke about being a sexy 10-year-old. The way she does it made sense in my head when I as writing it, but now that I look at it, it doesn't seem to be something a human would say. Thanks for pointing that out.

      Out of curiosity: Do you edit, comic books, or regular wordy books?

  5. On a first note, I really love the way you draw faces.

    On the note of dialogue, I'm assuming making Sam a tad annoying was intentional - then again, it's not really fair to judge a character on a single page of dialogue, so I'm not going to do more than point that out.

    Final note; More comics? F. Yes.

    1. It's not the first time this situation happened. He knows that she want's to do that, but needs a little push ;). But on the other hand he is very annoying on this page. Maybe I should scale it back a little bit.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Trap's legs are too short. Hope you'll fix them.

    1. God damn, they're tiny. How could I have missed that? Thanks!

  7. Oh God... Sam is adorable.

  8. *Brushes hands together* Welp, looks like all my critiques were already covered...my work is done. In other news, I like that you're giving your characters names (Sam is a particularly good one for a trap), I'm assuming we'll get to learn the teacher's name?

  9. Oh my, is it safe to say that I find Sam rather sexy and cute? The teacher is also delicious. Can you tell us their ages on your next post? It's just that I find reeeeeally exciting when an older female dates a considerably younger guy (it's actually a personal fantasy of mine). Cheers! :D

    1. There's no mention of their ages in this story (6 pages), but I'll probably put them in in the next one. But if you're curious, Sam is 19 and the woman is around 35'ish. And they're not dating. It's more like unlikely friends with benefits sytuation.

  10. I think this is fine, just a couple spelling/grammar mistakes. I noticed the missing commas most of all.

    The wiki page for comma is actually pretty great at covering the rules:


    If you find you are not certain about some parts of the dialogue, try reading it aloud. It can be embarrassing, especially when you find an awkward bit, but it really does help!

    As for my _general_ opinion about the dialogue, I think you might be trying to put too much in. Imagine if there were no text; your fantastic facial expressions tell the story very well by themselves, so I don't think you need all 27 word balloons to supplement them.

    For instance, I think you could remove the last exchange (beginning with "I swear, sometimes you act like a ten-year-old") without losing anything important and actually ending on a stronger note (he can go on all night). Maybe move the "I bet you can" punchline to the right side?

    And the "I am really busy righ-" softens his response to her previous statement. Removing it makes things flow better.

    And just a quick thing: I think you could make the "Fine" in "Fine. Let's just get..." exclaimed. "Fine! Let's just get..." gives it a little more punch, I think. It is the moment when she gives in, so we want a little frustration.

    Anyway, that's what I think. Overall, this is great as always. I wouldn't worry too much about making the text utterly perfect; people come for the dicks, not the sonnets!

  11. I showed this to a friend of mine (the completed version) and she laughed her ass off. Thought it was one of the funniest things she had ever seen, then asked me if I have ever made my cock wag... yes, yes I have ^_~