Even more inacurate environment studies!
Page #1 finished (unless I made some new spelling errors):
I tried to trim down the dialogue a bit, and make Sam less whiny. Also, yes I do love giving my characters non gender specific names.
I also did the first draft of the dialogue for the second page.
It's also pretty wordy. But the next 4 pages will have considerably less talking and more action, so I think that's fine. Gotta establish them characters first.
How did you learn all this?
ReplyDeleteWhat? Drawing?
DeleteThe BD and the environment, I am an amateur artist and I even dream of drawing like you
DeleteDo studies every day untill you're good enough to do it from imagination.
DeleteThank you
DeleteIs it Elie or Ellie?
ReplyDeleteThe number of consonants in a word shouldn't be changed.
Also; page2;
ReplyDeleteWonderful* (Twice)
Are you gon... should be changed to:
Were you gon...
Other than that; I can't see any direct grammatical errors :)
Please continue this story pleaseee ^^
ReplyDeletehttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_BdEk69k__0/T8TTSmh8IaI/AAAAAAAAAzM/c_uWVt_j2IM/s1600/29+copy.jpg
yeah i'm also a fan of this one ^^
Delete