Hi Incase , happy new year ! good luck good health and good everything , for you and for all the ... i don't know how to tell it ,: followers , viewers , all fans of your work .
i'm really happy to see you working on comics , your art is better and better and comics give you more oportunity to show your strong and nasty imagination.
hope you find the perfect combination of good/original characters , good story (i can't imagine you can fail this part ^^) , and good panel build (for the art i'm not worried either).
now let's talk about this comics :
first thing is : the beginnings of this comic is already very good , close to professionnal work , so if you find it is good the way it is , i'm ok with that and no need to read the part of my post below (technically all I about to say is only for "itching a scratch").
so let's go :
black&white seems a good choice , the speech bubbles on page 1 are really great , looks like a real conversation. and they energyse the scene (from page 1 to page 2, the action is very static ,none of the characters move one foot - no drama about that anyway -)
one other thing that energyse the pages is the no-right angle panel use (and also , when the top of the head pop out of the panel in the end of page 2 - a very good effect) but horizontal and vertical lines have utility . it is rare to see in a comic, both vertical and horizontal lines leaned (except for vision of LSD dreams where panels are completely unstructured). The result is that i had a little difficult to find the good order of reading for the panels (the text help me to be sure )
the third thing i note is probably too far from your plan for this quick comic but i still write it :it is that this comic look's like a part 2 or 3 of a more biggest story , in fact for a second part of a comic, page 1 is a perfect beginning (first panel -the house- second panel -BAM ! -> action) but for a first part, a page of introduction would be useful (who is Ellie for Sam ?mother ? aunt? professor who keep one student to her house? is she presbyope or astigmatic? why is sam androgyneous?) ... ok flashback are not for wild dogs .
last very minors details : panel3 page2 , this panel is very strange , the face is cut in a weird way (but in a way that focus the eye on the smile) last panel page2 : sam facial expression is ... strange too ^^
ok that s all what i can find !
Incase and all readers , do not hesitate to criticize (or approve!), or tell me to shut my mouth! because I say useless bullshits or cuz I'm totally unreadable .
Sfme-which flagellum himself with nettles to have dared to criticize the almighty god Incase !
I'm doing the art critic thing (while stoned, brings out the super critic in me) and am not seeing whatever it is you're seeing, agreeing with Spike, it's all looks right to me.
Calm your butts everyone. I did the halftones on the dick on purpose. I thought it'd look nice, but now I see that it might look like it's transparent. My bad.
@Martins, Si. I did zoom, and looked again...maybe it's just me but it looks fine. Then again I'm also very very very used to reading B&W comics. ¯\(°_o)/¯
You are truly a professional!
ReplyDeleteNice.
ReplyDeleteLol, The seconds-to-last panel F isn't upside down anymore; now you've managed to invert it instead.
ReplyDeletePretty nice work there, incase!
ReplyDeleteHi Incase , happy new year ! good luck good health and good everything , for you and for all the ... i don't know how to tell it ,: followers , viewers , all fans of your work .
ReplyDeletei'm really happy to see you working on comics , your art is better and better and comics give you more oportunity to show your strong and nasty imagination.
hope you find the perfect combination of good/original characters , good story (i can't imagine you can fail this part ^^) , and good panel build (for the art i'm not worried either).
now let's talk about this comics :
first thing is : the beginnings of this comic is already very good , close to professionnal work , so if you find it is good the way it is , i'm ok with that and no need to read the part of my post below (technically all I about to say is only for "itching a scratch").
so let's go :
black&white seems a good choice , the speech bubbles on page 1 are really great , looks like a real conversation. and they energyse the scene (from page 1 to page 2, the action is very static ,none of the characters move one foot - no drama about that anyway -)
one other thing that energyse the pages is the no-right angle panel use (and also , when the top of the head pop out of the panel in the end of page 2 - a very good effect) but horizontal and vertical lines have utility .
it is rare to see in a comic, both vertical and horizontal lines leaned (except for vision of LSD dreams where panels are completely unstructured).
The result is that i had a little difficult to find the good order of reading for the panels (the text help me to be sure )
the third thing i note is probably too far from your plan for this quick comic but i still write it :it is that this comic look's like a part 2 or 3 of a more biggest story , in fact for a second part of a comic, page 1 is a perfect beginning (first panel -the house- second panel -BAM ! -> action) but for a first part, a page of introduction would be useful (who is Ellie for Sam ?mother ? aunt? professor who keep one student to her house? is she presbyope or astigmatic? why is sam androgyneous?)
... ok flashback are not for wild dogs .
last very minors details : panel3 page2 , this panel is very strange , the face is cut in a weird way (but in a way that focus the eye on the smile)
last panel page2 : sam facial expression is ... strange too ^^
ok that s all what i can find !
Incase and all readers , do not hesitate to criticize (or approve!), or tell me to shut my mouth! because I say useless bullshits or cuz I'm totally unreadable .
Sfme-which flagellum himself with nettles to have dared to criticize the almighty god Incase !
Umm, not sure if anyone has noticed, but, his dick is transparent(you can see the grid/dot -pattern, as if the dick was made of glass.
ReplyDeleteBe careful as to where you put a glass penis; woudn't want it to shatter when in the wrong place.
Can not be unseen, damn.
DeleteHis cock is just also shaded with a dot pattern. That's how halftones work.
DeleteI'm doing the art critic thing (while stoned, brings out the super critic in me) and am not seeing whatever it is you're seeing, agreeing with Spike, it's all looks right to me.
Delete@Spike, then why isn't anything else shaded in the same manner?
Delete@Master, did you remember to zoom?
I can see it! Holy shit :D
DeleteCalm your butts everyone. I did the halftones on the dick on purpose. I thought it'd look nice, but now I see that it might look like it's transparent. My bad.
Delete@Martins, Si. I did zoom, and looked again...maybe it's just me but it looks fine. Then again I'm also very very very used to reading B&W comics. ¯\(°_o)/¯
DeleteWow, this is looking really good!
ReplyDeleteSo good! Very excite to see the rest of this *lip bite*
ReplyDelete