Work on the comic is going slow. I decided to extend the blowjob scene to be two pages, instead of one. Which means that I have to script them from scratch.
Here's what I've got so far.
-Eliot is sucking dat dick
-Sam tries to push her down because he's horny
-She's like "Hell naw, you're not doing that"
-Instead she starts fingering his ass
-Boom headshot.
I am pretty happy with how the 3rd page looks. I am a little bit worried that 80% of the page are just 3 shots of Eliot with a dick in her mouth. Kinda monotonous. I might try to squeeze in a reaction shot of Sam somewhere around the 2nd panel.
I like the content of the 4th page, but the panel composition is dull. I think that the top right part is too busy. I might do away with Sam's reactions, and do only one shot of Elies fingers getting in the butt.
I am open to critique on these.
I like it.
ReplyDeleteThe fourth page looks perfect and the third page is good to but maybe on the third panel you could show how eliot is getting hard and popping out of her skirt if she's even wearing a skirt idk just a suggestion
ReplyDeleteI agree, Eliot should start pitching a major tent in the fourth page. Depending on how large you're going to make her cock or how strong a libido she will have, you could give her a large precum wet spot on her skirt, or if you'll bless her with a giant cock, obscenely push her skirt away from her body. Maybe some rippage, I dunno. Either way, you should have a panel showing off a major clothing bulge before she takes out her cock.
DeleteShowing Eliot's bulge is a great idea. It's gonna be both sexy, and it makes sense pacing wise. It's good to show that she's a dickgirl before the dick comes out of the pants. Yep, pants. She's wearing jeans.
DeleteOk, with jeans and a long cock, you could have her boner slither above her waistband and nestle between her tits behind her shirt. That way, her reveal requires her to slide off her pants AND lift up her shirt, having her cock spring out from between her breasts (maybe her cock drops upon his head, dripping and ready to go)
DeleteLet's not get ridiculous with the size. Hed dick is gonna be around the same lenght as Sam's, but with a bit more girth. I am going for big, but still possible.
DeleteYeah i agree with u InCase lets keep things a bit realistic..
Deleteim not a fan of uber gigantic penises..
Fair enough, I trust your style and direction. I've just been hooked on redskyes Strange Days series on Literotica and would love to see some cum-spewing futa goddess in the same vein as the lead character with your flair.
DeleteGuess I'll just have to comission one myself wh you open back up again ;)
:x sexy...not sure which position I'd rather be in.
ReplyDeleteSounds great cant w8 for the rest :D
ReplyDeleteThanks for your sharing, it's a good post, keep going and support you.
ReplyDeleteon page 4 I wouldn't say the comp is dull or the upper right is too busy at all, quite the opposite it tells the progression of the story well. and, the reactions are priceless in telling the story (sometimes they're the most moving part) as long as they're dramatic enough in showing the distress or affect you're trying to convey. thanks for sharing the great work!
ReplyDelete